Milestones

Today's my birthday, and it's the first one without both of my parents. My dad passed away in January, and my mom passed away the day after Thanksgiving. This is the first of many firsts without them. What's normally a day of celebration is a sad one, too. It's nice to be remembered, though. And it'll get easier. One of my Facebook friends posted Happy Birthday wishes, along with the hope that the next year doesn't suck. Me too. There you go.

Meanwhile, here's Mom's obituary, which my sister, brother-in-law, nieces, and I worked on collaboratively.

10 On Tuesday: Things I've Learned Since My Dad Passed Away

So, this post may be grim, but it's part of life. I've learned many  things about life and death since Dad died. Here are ten of them:

1. Grief isn't linear. Some days are better, and some days are harder than others.

2. Dad's favorite flower was the pink azalea. My sister knew that, but I didn't.

3. Losing a parent is different in so many ways from losing a grandparent or more distant relative.

4. Even though Dad was sick when he died, I do not feel like he's "in a better place" now. I miss him, and I wish he were still here.

5. Having a sibling helps when planning things related to his death, but we don't always agree. That can be hard at times.

6. Reading books Dad would've enjoyed helps sometimes, but other times they make me sadder. It's part of the grieving process.

7. It helps to hear others' memories of Dad, especially the funny ones.

8. It's hard to explain this grief to someone who hasn't lost a parent.

9. Paper notes and cards received in the mail have been surprisingly meaningful and appreciated. It's inspired me to order some cards to send via mail on my own.

10. My relationship with food is a strange one during the grieving period, especially since I'd like to lose weight. Sometimes I don't feel like eating, sometimes I'm all into the comfort food.